CHALLENGE: To listen to "R.F.A." through headphones or earbuds at your
normal listening volume, et voila. Oh, but were it only so simple.
Volume is not the diabolical secret here, the track isn't especially loud,
it peaks at a distinctly reasonable 95.9db. Sounds like a walk in the park,
doesn't it? Trust me, not this track, this sounds like anything BUT a
walk in the park! It won't be as easy as you may think, rest assured, take
it from one who has been there. "R.F.A." is a hard listen by design, I
couldn't even master it in one straight session, and I'm one of its
creators! I felt quite dizzy and disoriented for several minutes afterwards,
it sounded like I was hearing everything through cotton-wool padding. Our
Sam only listened to a couple of minutes and said it made her feel quite
I know what
you're thinking; why on Earth would you want to do something like that to
yourself? Just because you can? Oh, better than that; you will get your
picture on our Wall Of Aural Endurance! You will be worshipped
from afar for the mightiness of your ears, bards will write verses about
your tympanic membranes, songs of your ossicles will reverberate throughout
the known universe! We can only wish you luck, our valiant friend, and offer
a little hopeful knowledge; the full version takes 10 minutes to climb to
its peak intensity, use this time to brace yourself for the 15 minute
central onslaught, perhaps try putting the photograph of a loved one in
front of you. If you make it that far, you have only the 10 minute fade down
to get through, the worst is over, be brave, you are so close! And may
The Gods Of The Cochlea be with you...
WARNING: BEFORE EMBARKING ON
THE R.F.A. CHALLENGE, PLEASE ENSURE THAT ALL OF YOUR AFFAIRS ARE IN ORDER
AND THAT YOU HAVE LEFT A NOTE FOR YOUR NEXT OF KIN!
Due to the hazardous nature of
this sonic journey, it is suggested that you first try to undergo the humane
edit that Skit and myself produced as an act of mercy...
"R.F.A." (Humane Edit - 6:59)
Should you succeed with that,
please do notify us with great pride before moving on to the full version.
So somebody will know...
(Full Version - 35:00)
If you have come this far, know
that you are a being of extraordinary magnitude. Take a little time to
compose yourself, first regain full use of your senses and limbs et al,
let's not try to run before we can walk. Then proudly take a selfie of your
pained suffering in headphones or earbuds and send it to us with tales of
your great achievement! If there is a link below to the Wall Of Aural
Endurance, somebody may have beaten you to it. If not, you could be