6. THE FIRST 'HAPPENING'... LIVE AT FRIMLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE!!

Well, the best way I can think of conveying the memory of that first event is to actually give it to you from when it was fresh in my addled old mind, so here it is - exactly as originally published in The Grain # 3;

THE GRAIN DEBUT GIG +++ FRIMLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE +++ 27th JUNE 1987 +++ REPORT +

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Were you there? If not, you should have been, for THE GRAIN debut gig (with THE CHARLES, MAGIC MOMENTS A.T.T. and THE CHARLES MAGIC ORCHESTRA) was a big success with those that were. Sadly, the turn out wasn't as good as we'd been hoping for, but our thanks to all of you who resisted the multi-band spectacular at the West End Centre and came and saw us instead... you did the right thing!!!

       The doors opened at 8:00 to MAGIC MOMENTS A.T.T. just finishing their sound test (a free bonus for the audience?) and then continued with the weirdo lead-up tape. First the gathered ones were struck with Bach's Toccata And Fugue in D minor, then with many other popular classical pieces, just occasionally breaking into bits of "Batman", "The Prisoner", "Star Trek" and a few other things. Could they keep their heads straight long enough to read their programmes???

The 2nd edition of The Grain doubled  as said programme for the first gig

We'll never know! Soon after 9:00, MAGIC MOMENTS A.T.T. took to the stage, all barring bassist, J.A.T.T., who was still in bed at the time. A telephone burst into life and Shona Moments answered it... "Hello," said the voice at the other end, "we have a reverse charge call from the planet Gamma Syndrome, we feel sure you will accept the charges, thank you." There was a short pause before the alien babbling could be heard, then one alien voice cut in above the rest and said; "Will you lot shut the fuck up, it's time for MAGIC MOMENTS AT TWILIGHT TIME, oh boy, they're weird!"

       He was right... Mick Magic played away merrily, resplendent in white boiler suit and full head mask, as did Kate Twilight, the mysterious lady in black, while Shona Moments tried frantically to get the comatose J.A.T.T. out of the bed. Finally, she succeeded, and he played out the whole set dressed in his bed jacket, red long johns, bedsocks and a long nightcap with a bobble on the end. Yes, no gimmickry or silliness from MAGIC MOMENTS A.T.T., just good music. So if anyone tells you that their act includes a live duet with an old cassette recorder, a ballet for human female and two condoms (one red, one green), a Shona Moments striptease, a heavy metal Banjelele solo and cowboys... you'll know better????????? (Actually... it's all true!)

Chris' poster for the first Grain gig, 25p off if you brought a condom...

       Then, after an impromptu word from our sponsors (The Campaign To Prove Ronald Reagan Is Brain Dead), on came THE CHARLES (da-da!!!), looking and sounding absolutely shit hot and sounding about forty times better than they ever had before. From the opening bars of "Knobs", fans ran frantically around the dance floor, hitting eachother with large chunks of metal and taking the piss out of cancer victims (does that sound like hype???). They powered through their mega brilliant set with the speed of a puppy being launched out of a bazooka... wow! Who said THE CHARLES had lost it??? Whoever it was was wrong... they've not lost anything... but they've gained lots, like more dangerous than ever! The set came to a mind-numbing climax with a mega rendition of "Helter-Skelter", then (stage duly vacated) the gathered throng yelled for more... and got the shock of their lives as THE CHARLES returned sporting Victorian moustaches (freebies of which they had passed out at the door) and performeth they "Period Piece", finishing in a daringly different human pyramid (yes, seriously folks). The crowd stood in stunned silence, thinking strange expletives, the likes of "golly", "gosh", "gadzooks" and "fuck me sideways with a wet lettuce". They wondered what could possibly happen that could shock them more???

       Hang on a minute (does that imply time climbs?)... what about this CHARLES MAGIC ORCHESTRA thingy? As the Victorian gentlemen left, an unmasked Mick Magic went back on stage (and he really is a 4 foot tall green alien unmasked!), closely followed by Kate Twilight, J.A.T.T. and Shona Moments... and they began to play the weirdest version of THE CHARLES' classic, "The Grain". The audience looked on in bewilderment (as opposed to being Wildebeest) as Shona sang "do what you will... and think maybe" etc. Then, quite suddenly (and definitely not arranged or rehearsed) (HUMBUG, SIR!) Charles Remix was down there singing with the stunning Miss Moments... then Benedik Charles' searing guitar burst in... Tarquin Experiment? thudded on the drums... Jacob battered the bass... both bands were playing together and the crowd reached frenzy point and leapt about yelling & screaming frantically as this amazing musical orgasm ejaculated all over the dance floor!!!!!!! Then we all packed up and went home.   

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT;

                                         MAGIC MOMENTS A.T.T. would like to extend their thanks and sexual favours to Wayne Smith for video-recording their debut gig, and to Simon Cox for manning the tape-stall and assisting with transportation.

Mick Magic - from The Grain no. 3, published July 1987