Session 1: "Neil Crud On Tudno FM"


"Noswaith dda, Cymru." Said I.

To help generate a bit of good faith with his listeners, many of whom tuned in on local FM and followed the chat on the Facebook page, I'd made the effort to learn a couple of phrases in Welsh (I think the technical word for it is 'creeping'), this one meaning "Good evening, Wales." Having done that, I then nearly undid the good work by playing a sample of a goat bleating. It was meant as a joke to make Neil think we were going to play the 'animal noise shit' one, but what actually entered my head as I heard it was; "Fuck, don't goats sound like sheep?" Luckily, nobody lynched us. It actually turned out to be quite prophetic, a few months later, there'd be goats wandering all over the streets of Llandudno during the first lockdown! Sheepishly (no pun intended), I soldiered on. For our first 'appearance', we'd put something together specially. Minded that it was primarily a punk show, we'd assembled an appropriately banging number we'd hoped would warm the audience to our somewhat offbeat electro-experimental style. Although it later ended up as our football anthem, "The AFC Song" (for AFC Wimbledon, who the previous incarnation of, by some strange coincidence, had beaten Neil Crud's Liverpool in the 1988 FA Cup Final, small world), this is where and why it started out. I counted us in, then all we had to do was remember the lyrics;

♪♫ "Neil Crud On Tudno FM, ugh!" ♫♪

Needn't have worried. The mix sounded a bit muddy and some of the higher pitched swishy synth FX played havoc with the broadcast frequencies, but like I said, it was our first time, and at least the lyrics had gone down well. And we made Neil blush...


Session 2: "Silent Night"


Seeing as how it was only nine days till Christmas, we thought we would do something festive. We'd been working on a 10 minute plus arty version of "Stille Nacht", we'd always liked Can's take on it and had fancied doing one of our own as a one off seasonal project. However, Neil had told us to keep everything to around the three minute mark for the sessions, so we'd worked out a shorter version that just concentrated on the drum-lead happy bouncy section. Kerching! Merry greedfest, folks, ho ho ho!

Session 3: "MMATT 33 Crudup"


And here it is, the pièce de résistance, and our final track for the night! Not that we had a lot of choice at this point; all we'd recorded so far was a few pieces of musique concrète and the Digitalis sessions, both of which were created entirely digitally ("no musical instruments were harmed in the making of this album") and impossible to perform live. So the "MMATT 33 Mashup" was no. 1 in a field of one, which seemed somehow appropriate. It was also the only Magic Bullet track that Neil's listeners would have already heard, because he'd played an excerpt from it on his show on 28th October, our very first ever bit of airplay, for those of you keeping count. So Skit and I had checked the bit he played on Mixcloud to make sure we included the relevant sections in our cut-down special. Of course, the original was all done using vocal samples from the old MMATT recordings, which meant the two of us would have to recreate it live ourselves. Not much of a problem, we thought, most was just bits of dialogue about final frontiers and hearts beating like drums, but Neil had also included the operatic bit. And Inga's orgasm. Reproducing the former was simply a matter of pitch-shifter and chorus, we were never going to sound as good as Brian John Doran, but hey, it was just supposed to be a bit of fun. The latter was more a case of overcoming the giggles. Then Skit refused to join in, citing 'dignity', so I had to 'come' alone...
"Anybody got a tissue?"

All in all, we really enjoyed our first foray into live radio sessions, and everyone was so nice to us...

We even got offered a gig in Bangor...

And you'll find the whole 90 minute show archived on Mixcloud...