Jesus Is Dead (Let's Eat Chocolate!)

Our festive offering for Easter 2020

Running Time: 4:13

Later Released On: "Curiositas"

Label: Music & Elsewhere (M&E MB-001)

Release Date: 26th April 2020

Format: Download

Buy Links: "Curiositas" - Bandcamp - GBP £4.00

Buy Links:



So our Twizz walks in to The Mmatterialisation Chamber, day before Easter weekend, not long turned 7 at the time;
"Daddy, Uncle Skit," she says, "what is Easter all about?"

"It was Friday evening," went the musique concrète track we were listening to, seeking inspiration for a new Bullet piece for the holiday weekend, "Jesus had just died on the cross."

"Jesus is dead, let's eat chocolate."

"Skit like it."
I don't know why I said it, first thing that came into my head. Ridiculous when you think about it that way, isn't it? Okay, yes, controversial, but seriously, how else do you explain it to a child?

"Well, young Twizz, Jesus was perceived as a threat to the existing religious power base and thus publicly nailed to a large wooden cross, upon which He would have died very slowly and in the most excruciatingly painful way. Creme Egg?"

I always found it darkly amusing that Christians mark the death of their Messiah by stuffing their faces with chocolate. We mark the death of Leonard Nimoy by watching Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan, which seems somehow more relevant and appropriate.

"Jesus died so Cadbury's could print money" (*other chocolate makers are available) doesn't really have the same ring to it. And before my inbox explodes, yes, I'm aware that not all Christians do the chocolate thing  and that there's other stuff involved too. But then they commercialise everything these days, don't they? Kill whatever meaning it once had and try to sell you something instead. And that's what this track is really about; BANALITY!


So we had our title and a rather excited 7 year old who was very keen to make her vocal debut. Lyrics? Let's not over-complicate things. So what sort of musical style would be appropriate for such a sensitive subject?

"Dance beat?" Skit suggested.

"Nailed it," I agreed, "no pun intended."

"What have we got?"

"How about samples from Zen Sequent sped up?"

And that's what we did. Go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect £200. We'd best not compound it by doing a Bank Holiday Monday sequel called "Jesus Has Risen (Let's Mow The Lawn!), eh?

No, seriously...