Ed End... in two minds about having his photo
taken... and everything else...
Now this looked an interesting
one; "The World is Over!" Thus began the posting from one Ed End, "Or not.
If we had a choice... what would it be? This Meta Compilation of free music
invites us to think about it. The track must correspond to a reason for
humanity to continue or to stop and it must be mentioned in the title." If
there was one individual on the planet that made me feel strongly one way or
another about our continued existence as a species, it was the total fuckwit
that was President Of The United States Of America at the time, Donald
Trump. We were a little under three months into lockdown, bodies were piling
up, and that utter imbecile was still saying it would all blow over, and why
didn't we just drink Dettol (*other disinfectants are available) and have
laser beams shoot UV up our arses. Yes, I'm stretching reality, but he
started it (as for his comments about being the saviour of African
Americans, don't get me started)! I think an article I had read in the
German newspaper Der Spiegel recently had summed it up beautifully,
pointing out that the nations suffering the highest Covid infection rates
were those lead by "men for whom reality was optional"; citing Boris Johnson
in the UK, Vladimir Putin in Russia, Jair Bolsonaro in Brazil, and finally,
of course, Donald Trump in the U.S.A. (*other presidential candidates were
available, why didn't you fucking vote for one of them instead)! You'll get
no argument from us.
So, Skit and I enthusiastically
set about searching the newsreels for Trump saying stupid, inaccurate or
insensitive things, or 'speaking in public' as he called it. Several seconds
later, we'd found enough to do a boxed set of albums with. It was always
easy to see when Trump was talking bollocks, his lips moved, it was a dead
giveaway. The hardest part was choosing exactly which pieces
of moronic verbalisation to use. But fear not, we managed, following each
with a random voice saying "I think we're fucked." We had a reasonable idea
for a thematic tune to bring all these pieces together, but were a bit stuck
on what to perform it on or with, a problem not particularly helped by the
fact my neighbour, Austin, was using some kind of noisy electric sander
thing on the wall adjacent to The Mmatterialisation Chamber. Then there came
that little sparkle in Skit's eyes. At first, I thought he'd been playing
with Twizz's 'make your own glitter cosmetics' kit again, then he
opened his mouth and spoke words of pure genius...
"Power tool, yas!" He
exclaimed, pointing at the wall.
"Skit," I said, "sometimes I
could kiss you."
He closed his eyes and puckered
up. I walked straight past him and started to set up a microphone,
hard-pressed against the adjoining wall, he sighed disappointedly. A few
minutes of electric sander type thing through said wall later, we had all
the samples we would need to create our masterpiece.
We sent it to Ed, opting to be
included in the world should continue side of the argument. I
understand that the most powerful country on Earth having a complete cunt
for a president may seem a strange inspiration for wanting the human race to
survive, but explained it thus; "What gives us hope is that people are
finally standing up the world over and demanding change, and so long as
there are still so many power-crazed charismatics out there corrupting
democracy for their own ends, there is good reason for our world to
continue; because we have unfinished business." The rest, as they say, is
history. Just as his time in office is, thank fuck. And no, Austin still
doesn't have a clue.