Optional Reality (I Think We're Fucked)


Running Time: 3:49

Released On: "The World Is Over! [B Side]" - Various Artists (46 tracks)

Label: Le Colibri Nécrophile

Release Date: rolling from 1st April 2020, our track was added 19th June 2020

Format: Download

Buy Links: Bandcamp

Buy Links: Internet Archive




Ed End... in two minds about having his photo taken... and everything else...

Now this looked an interesting one; "The World is Over!" Thus began the posting from one Ed End, "Or not. If we had a choice... what would it be? This Meta Compilation of free music invites us to think about it. The track must correspond to a reason for humanity to continue or to stop and it must be mentioned in the title." If there was one individual on the planet that made me feel strongly one way or another about our continued existence as a species, it was the total fuckwit that was President Of The United States Of America at the time, Donald Trump. We were a little under three months into lockdown, bodies were piling up, and that utter imbecile was still saying it would all blow over, and why didn't we just drink Dettol (*other disinfectants are available) and have laser beams shoot UV up our arses. Yes, I'm stretching reality, but he started it (as for his comments about being the saviour of African Americans, don't get me started)! I think an article I had read in the German newspaper Der Spiegel recently had summed it up beautifully, pointing out that the nations suffering the highest Covid infection rates were those lead by "men for whom reality was optional"; citing Boris Johnson in the UK, Vladimir Putin in Russia, Jair Bolsonaro in Brazil, and finally, of course, Donald Trump in the U.S.A. (*other presidential candidates were available, why didn't you fucking vote for one of them instead)! You'll get no argument from us.

So, Skit and I enthusiastically set about searching the newsreels for Trump saying stupid, inaccurate or insensitive things, or 'speaking in public' as he called it. Several seconds later, we'd found enough to do a boxed set of albums with. It was always easy to see when Trump was talking bollocks, his lips moved, it was a dead giveaway. The hardest part was choosing exactly which pieces of moronic verbalisation to use. But fear not, we managed, following each with a random voice saying "I think we're fucked." We had a reasonable idea for a thematic tune to bring all these pieces together, but were a bit stuck on what to perform it on or with, a problem not particularly helped by the fact my neighbour, Austin, was using some kind of noisy electric sander thing on the wall adjacent to The Mmatterialisation Chamber. Then there came that little sparkle in Skit's eyes. At first, I thought he'd been playing with Twizz's 'make your own glitter cosmetics' kit again, then he opened his mouth and spoke words of pure genius...


"Power tool, yas!" He exclaimed, pointing at the wall.

"Skit," I said, "sometimes I could kiss you."


He closed his eyes and puckered up. I walked straight past him and started to set up a microphone, hard-pressed against the adjoining wall, he sighed disappointedly. A few minutes of electric sander type thing through said wall later, we had all the samples we would need to create our masterpiece.


We sent it to Ed, opting to be included in the world should continue side of the argument. I understand that the most powerful country on Earth having a complete cunt for a president may seem a strange inspiration for wanting the human race to survive, but explained it thus; "What gives us hope is that people are finally standing up the world over and demanding change, and so long as there are still so many power-crazed charismatics out there corrupting democracy for their own ends, there is good reason for our world to continue; because we have unfinished business." The rest, as they say, is history. Just as his time in office is, thank fuck. And no, Austin still doesn't have a clue.


LINKS (A side):

The finished album was released in two halves, of which we appear on the B side; the A side, also featuring 46 tracks (now there's fair for you), covers the world should end side of the argument. Why let us optimists have it all our own way?