A rattle gun, very carefully wiped over to
remove any fingerprints...
Ah, we've really got to look
forward to doing our monthly 35 minute ear-bleeders now, this being no. 5 in
the series (for which we apologise to Elling Lien and the team profusely),
and 8 more to come (ditto). This month, Skit decided he wanted to explore
all the noises that could be made by and created from samples of a rattle
gun (also known as an impact gun or wrench), you know, those things they
tighten your wheel nuts with at the local tyre fitters. He loves power
tools, what can I say? So off he went in the middle of the night to break in
to Kwikfit in Cleveleys (other fitters are available, but we're
not going to name any, so
please don't press charges) to 'borrow' one for the day. Next thing we know,
he's miking up our garage while we're still having breakfast (porridge, in
case you're curious) and enthusiastically recording all it's whines, whirs
and clacks. Being that the Bullet are a team, I figured I should go out
there and give him a hand, albeit after my second coffee. There he was,
pointing the thing at an old mirror in there saying;
"Are you looking at me? Are you
looking at me? I don't see anybody else here."
Being that kind of friend, I
would have taken a photo to share with you here, but I was somewhat
concerned the police might be looking for a stolen rattle gun at the time.
But I digress, which is most unlike me. With a big pile of recordings in
hand and Skit still shame-faced with embarrassment, the two of us went
upstairs to The Mmatterialisation Chamber so see what we could do with our
ill gotten gains. The piece you hear here is the result of our efforts,
every noise you hear is being made by a rattle gun, versatile little thing,
All that remained was to find a
title for our new work. The inspiration came from Charlie Brooker, who in
his "Death To 2020" mockumentary, rather aptly described Donald Trump as an
experimental pigman. So "Pigman Cut" it was, which by some strange
coincidence, just happens to be an anagram of impact gun. Small world.
Oh, and you'll be pleased to
know that Skit was back through the skylight that very night, and the staff
at Kwikfit in Cleveleys still can't figure out why they couldn't find that
rattle gun all day on that Thursday, but it was right back where it was
supposed to be on Friday morning. Your Magic Bullet, adding a little mystery
to everyday life, and let's hope it stays that way...